23 Feb 2014
I watched an episode of The Haunting Of…, like I have watched many others, with the medium Kim Russo and a famous band member. When younger he visited his cousin in Alamogordo, NM, and had an experience during one night. The details aren’t too important and didn’t affect me until the end. He saw an Apache Indian looking at him through the bedroom window and then another charging to attach him with a knife right after. At the end of the program he and Kim went outside to make an offering of tobacco to release the spirit energy. As that was being shown, I started crying and wailing for almost 15 minutes. As I cried, I was asking why this was affecting me so much. I began to get impressions and heard my wailing as more of Indian wailing. Then I saw myself as an old medicine woman, named Wanaka, sitting on the outside of my cave looking down into a small valley at my empty village. I was one of very few left after the massacres by the US Army. I was so distraught that I had not been able to use my knowledge and ceremonies to stop this. I felt responsible for all the deaths. At the end of these visions I saw myself committing suicide with a knife by stabbing myself in the stomach. I felt that the ceremony on the program was releasing my soul as well and that I could forgive the soldiers and myself.
I was shocked immediately at the depth of my reaction. I have not had this type of reaction from anything I have watch so far about ghosts. I have inquired from my guides about having a life as an American Indian, but didn’t get anything. Perhaps this event was so traumatic that I buried it very deep until that ceremony.
I told Jennifer this story and she said she got right away that this event plays a part in why I am so driven to make a difference in helping the people in my life. Maybe so.